Series Title: Overcoming Toxic Relationships
Part 3: Understanding the Attack on Your Gift
Saul and David
Synopsis of Bible Study 08/15/18
Delivered by Bishop Joseph W. Walker, III, D.Min.
- Relationships have a tendency to go into a variety of directions. People are your friends, until they’re not. Your allies are your allies until they are your
- Relationships have a variety of purposes too.
- For some people, if you make them mad enough, you will hear them tell you all that they felt bad about you. The scary thing about this is, they felt this way about you the whole time when you thought they were your
- 1 Samuel 19:9-10 (NKJV) says 9 Now the distressing spirit from the Lord came upon Saul as he sat in his house with his spear in his hand. And David was playing music with his hand. 10 Then Saul sought to pin David to the wall with the spear, but he slipped away from Saul’s presence; and he drove the spear into the wall. So David fled and escaped that night.
- Toxic relationships come in many forms.
- Toxic relationships are harder to detect in Spiritual relationships than in Carnal Relationships. Being spiritual, one would think that we would be able to handle toxic relationships better than unsaved people, but this is not something we should purposely embrace.
- “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” – John Green. – In otherworld’s, the residue of a toxic relationship stays with us.
- 1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV) 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.- Some things are so big and so hurtful, we have to be wise enough to give them over to the Lord.
- Sometimes we feel guilty for letting people go. Ex- When Jonah was on the ship and the terrible storm came, they had to throw him overboard, before the storm stopped. Sounds bad, but look at this way. When you throw people off the ship, you are releasing them into their destiny. Jonah would have never done what God wanted him to do, had he not been thrown overboard and been swallowed by a whale. Release them into their destiny.
- We have to learn to overcome toxic relationships.
A. The five warning signs associated with an unhealthy relationship:
As you go through these, think about people in your life that resemble these signs.
- There is a constant power struggle. Your presence makes people feel like you are taking something from them, because their gifts are all about them.
- Psalm 9:13 (NKJV) 13 Have mercy on me, O Lord! Consider my trouble from those who hate me, You who lift me up from the gates of death,,
- Psalm 27:2 (NKJV) 2 When the wicked came against me To eat[a] up my flesh, My enemies and foes, They stumbled and fell.
- Your gifts are for God, not self-edification. If you value them for you, then you depend on the glory you get from people instead of giving glory to God.
- The person brings out your worst qualities. Jeremiah 20:7-9 (NKJV) 7 O Lord, You [a]induced me, and I was persuaded; You are stronger than I, and have prevailed. I am [b]in derision daily; Everyone mocks me. 8 For when I spoke, I cried out; I shouted, “Violence and plunder!” Because the word of the Lord was made to me A reproach and a derision daily. 9 Then I said, “I will not make mention of Him, Nor speak anymore in His name.” But His word was in my heart like a burning fire Shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, And I could not.
- You have a contrasting communication styles. “Attempting to hurt someone with words is not the way to resolve conflict or communicate hurt feelings.” – Keri Nola-
- These are people that don’t know how to say stuff. Proverbs 12:18 (NKJV) says 18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.- There is a way to say something bad, good.
- You feel bad about yourself when you are around that person. When you’re in a relationship with a person that leaves you feeling torn down instead of built up, then that relationship is
- Some people can be way too critical. Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV) 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary [a]edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.- if a person says nothing you do is ever right, then that is
- The person is prone to irrational frequent displays of jealousy. Jealousy is birth out of Saul’s jealousy was because he was envious of David. Many gifts we have, many gifts we don’t know we have, but we know that they will be revealed in time. One thing we know for sure is, we are gifted.
- 1 Samuel 17:34-35 (NKJV) 34 But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, 35 I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it.
- 1 Samuel 17:6-12 (NKJV) 6 And he had bronze armor on his legs and a bronze javelin between his shoulders. 7 Now the staff of his spear was like a weaver’s beam, and his iron spearhead weighed six hundred shekels; and a shield-bearer went before him. 8 Then he stood and cried out to the armies of Israel, and said to them, “Why have you come out to line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and you the servants of Saul? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. 9 If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants. But if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us.” 10 And the Philistine said, “I defy the armies of Israel this day; give me a man, that we may fight together.” 11 When Saul and all Israel heard these words of the Philistine, they were dismayed and greatly afraid. 12 Now David was the son of that Ephrathite of Bethlehem Judah, whose name was Jesse, and who had eight sons. And the man was old, advanced in years, in the days of Saul.-Saul was angry because they credited David with more.
- The moment focus shifts from them that is the moment that they stop celebrating.
- If your relationship is effected after you are elevated over them, then it is toxic. Ex – When Bishop Walker first started Pastoring Mt Zion, there were only about 65 who people showed up on Sunday. At the time, Bishop thought Mt Zion was going to be a training ground for him to go somewhere else.
Later Mt Zion grew to 125 people. At the height of this, Bishop was preaching everywhere. Invites to preach were coming in all the time, but as soon as Mt Zion started to really grow, the invitations stopped coming. All of a sudden, people were concerned about Bishop “taking members”.
It is not about where people go, it is the fact that they go to serve the Lord. The point to this whole thing is, as soon as the success started, Bishops relationship with other ministers and churches changed.
For some, relationship changes, when they can’t contain what happens to you. True friendship can celebrate your happiness whether it includes them or not.
II. Anointed by God
If Satan can get you to give up on the small stuff, you will forfeit the big stuff.
A. The Assignment in your life will always call you forward
- When David was anointed, he was overlooked at first. Samuel had tested all of his brothers trying to find out who would be God’s next chosen king. The problem was, no one passed the test.
- This made Samuel want to know if there was anyone else back there that they could have overlooked. When you are anointed, you have to be content with being the “anyone else back there?” person.
- 1 Samuel 17:34-35 (NKJV) says 34 But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, 35 I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it.;
- 1 Samuel 16:7-12 (NKJV) 7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have [a]refused him. For[b] the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 8 So Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” 9 Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” 10 Thus Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel. And Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen these.” 11 And Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all the young men here?” Then he said, “There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep.” And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him. For we will not [c]sit down till he comes here.” 12 So he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with [d]bright eyes, and good-looking. And the Lord said, “Arise, anoint him; for this is the one!” – It’s ok to wait your turn. Sometimes they have through the rejects to appreciate what they had.
B. God will move you from the pasture to the palace
- David comes out and doesn’t look the part. God has a way of moving you from pasture to palace. 1 Samuel 16:14-16 (NKJV) 14 But the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and a distressing spirit from the Lord troubled him. 15 And Saul’s servants said to him, “Surely, a distressing spirit from God is troubling you. 16 Let our master now command your servants, who are before you, to seek out a man who is a skillful player on the harp. And it shall be that he will play it with his hand when the [a]distressing spirit from God is upon you, and you shall be well.”- God never ever ordained Saul to be king. It was the people who wanted him.
- Saul was narcissistic and egotistical and as a result, God’s spirit left him.1 Samuel 16:17-18 (NKJV) 17 So Saul said to his servants, [a]“Provide me now a man who can play well, and bring him to me.” 18 Then one of the servants answered and said, “Look, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a mighty man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a handsome person; and the Lord is with him.”- Saul was distraught and the people wanted a harp player to play over him to get him out of his slump. David’s father sent him to minister to Saul.
- It is important for you to know that some people that God sends you to minister to, will later be a menace back to you. This can be painful too. You need people in your life that can celebrate all of your gifts, not just the ones that benefit them. There is some world changing stuff inside of you.
III. Attacked for Your Gift
Your gifts will cause attacks.
A. Your gift will create opportunity and opposition
- Your gift will make room for you. Proverbs 18:16 (NKJV) says 16 A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men.-
- Don’t invite yourself. Allow yourself to be invited. If you are anointed, God will find you and bring you before that which is great.
- Ex- Do you remember Bishop GE Patterson. He was one of the greatest and Presiding Bishop’s that ever lived. He was from the COGIC doctrine. When Bishop Walker (then Rev Walker) first met Bishop GE Patterson, he had no idea that God had positioned him.
- God placed Bishop among all these great men, even though he was considered small in the Ministry. Bishop Walker was invited to a big meeting one time and when he got there, he wondered why he had been invited to such an event with all of these Big Name Preachers. At the time, Bishop Walker only had 65 members at Mt Zion.
- Later on Bishop was invited to preach at Bishop GE Patterson’s church. When Bishop Walker got up to preach, Bishop GE Patterson prophesied over him and told all about the big church he would later lead. Bishop Patterson was prophesying about him leading the now Mt Zion and his current position as Presiding Bishop of the Full Gospel Doctrine.
- All the while, Bishop Walker wondered why him? The answer is, your gift will make room for you! It’s not about us, it is about God!
- Shortly after Bishop Walker preached at Bishop Patterson’s church, he became a mentor for Bishop Walker. They became so close, that when Bishop Patterson passed away, his wife called Bishop Walker and told him that Bishop Patterson wanted him to have all of his Bishop shirts. This means a lot to the Mentee.
- The whole point of the scenario is this, Bishop never had to run around trying to be noticed. All Bishop had to do is stay comfortable in his lane. God will open up doors to people that will blow your mind!
- Ephesians 2:10 (NKJV) 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.- God prepared you. Your gifts were prepared for God’s purpose for you.
- Think about your gifts. You’ve probably only tapped into about 7 of the gifts that you possess. The funny thing about this is, the enemy is not after those gifts you have tapped into. He is after the other 93 gifts that you haven’t even discovered yet. Your enemy is after your not-yet! The enemy knows that if you tap into your not-yet, then you will for sure be a threat then!
- In the story Saul is struggling with being a “has been”. Saul should have mentored David, but instead, he tried to stop God’s plan.
B. Learn how to be strategic when you encounter strife
- Know your limit. 1 Samuel 19:18 (NKJV) 18 So David fled and escaped, and went to Samuel at Ramah, and told him all that Saul had done to him. And he and Samuel went and stayed in Naioth. – At some point, you have to know when to say that’s enough.
- You got to set boundaries. Even if you love them, you have to set boundaries. David loved Saul, but he left his house. Staying there would not have been good for him and was a danger to God’s plan.
- Continue to operate in your gift. David was still operating in his gift. When you read the 23rd Psalm, you might think David might have been sitting on the beach relaxing when he wrote it. The truth is David was actually running from Saul when he wrote that. You have to learn to minister while you are under attack.
- Jesus was hanging on the cross, but he still ministered. “forgive them”, “Mother, behold thou son”, and “this day, you will be with me in paradise”
- Where God is getting ready to take you, you got to learn that these attacks come with the territory. In fact, I would be worried if I was doing God’s will and not being attacked. In fact on person wrote this phrase that is food for thought. It says: “When you get to the point of greatness, don’t read comments”.
IV. Appointed for Greatness
A. God does not anoint you without an appointment
- Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJV) says 3 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:- there is a season for preparation. – People just see your elevation. They never see your struggle. They don’t realize the stuff you really overcame, didn’t make the paper.
- 2 Samuel 5:4 (NKJV) 4 David was thirty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned forty years. – Your story is filled with stuff that you overcame. Through all of that, God still elevated you.
- Elevation is not based on tenure. The stuff that happened late and night, pushed people through. They were elevated, because they passed some tests and stood some trials!
B. The persecution was preparation for your position
- Galatians 6:9 (NKJV) 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.- Stop letting them do that to you. We’re all the time letting people frustrate us.
- What God has promised, is on the way. 2 Samuel 1:17 (NKJV) 17 Then David lamented with this lamentation over Saul and over Jonathan his son,
- There is a them and a they in every city, on every job, and in every family. You have to pull yourself together and not allow the attacks to hinder your gift.
- There are people that haven’t been born yet that will reap from your gift. If you quit, you rob people of what God was going to do in their lives.
- The stuff you are supposed to doing, is going to bless people. Make up in your mind right now that you are no longer going to let the enemy rob you of your gift.