RelationShifts Part II, Bible Study 02/24/16


RelationSHIFTS Part II

How to be the man / woman that God wants you to be

Synopsis of Bible Study 02/24/16

Delivered by Bishop Walker III


One problem with trying to be the man or woman that God called you to be is there aren’t many people in our families that we can model after. Not having any models or good examples to mimic causes us to display, dysfunction.

Today we will focus on a key verse which is Psalms 139:14 (NKJV) and it says 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[a] Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

In trying to become the man or woman that God called us to be, we have to have some strategies.

Below will list some strategies to help us achieve this goal.


Know that:

  1. Your horizontal relationships are only happy if vertical relationship (with God) is healthy.
  2. We have to admit that we are all evolving. We have not arrived yet. Pratical principels.



It is important to learn to be the man God wants you to be. To be the man that God wants you to be, you must:

  1. We mus first know how to be a man after Gods heart. Acts 13:22 (NKJV) says 22 And when He had removed him, He raised up for them David as king, to whom also He gave testimony and said, ‘I have found David[a] the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.’[b] – A man after Gods heart is a man who at his core, wants to do Gods will. An example of this being played out is in the Garden of Gethsemane. Here Jesus suffers as a man. What is important to know here is he asks God to let the cup pass from him, but in the end he says, “… let thou will (God’s will) be done”. We have to let God’s will be the center in our life.
  • Characteristics of man after Gods own heart.
  1. Responsive – David responded to Gods call without delay. Know that responsive in this context can be also mean responsible. 1 Samuel 16:22-23 (NKJV) 22 Then Saul sent to Jesse, saying, “Please let David stand before me, for he has found favor in my sight.” 23 And so it was, whenever the spirit from God was upon Saul, that David would take a harp and play it with his hand. Then Saul would become refreshed and well, and the distressing spirit would depart from him. – A man after Gods heart doesn’t have to be prompted to respond. He just knows when to act.
    1. There are some things men are supposed to do, just because we are men of God. We don’t have to be asked to get up and go to work. We just do it, because as men of God, we know that this is something we are supposed to do. To respond is to be
  2. Resourceful – David knew how to get the job done. A man of God is not just responsible, he is resourceful. 1 Samuel 17:40 (NKJV) says 40 Then he took his staff in his hand; and he chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in a shepherd’s bag, in a pouch which he had, and his sling was in his hand. And he drew near to the Philistine. – David took a sling shot and rocks and slayed the giant, Goliath. No where did the scripture say he was told to do this. David knew this was something that had to be done. He did what he could do and let God do the rest.
    1. A man after God’s heart takes what he has and makes things happen. Men after God’s own heart can make stuff happen and the family never knows what he is working on. For example, the lights can be turned off for just one night and he might play it off by planning a candlelight.
  3. Respectful – A man after God’s own heart is respectful. He is also respectful of God’s presence. 2 Samuel 24:18-24 (NKJV)18 And Gad came that day to David and said to him, “Go up, erect an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite.” 19 So David, according to the word of Gad, went up as the Lord commanded. 20 Now Araunah looked, and saw the king and his servants coming toward him. So Araunah went out and bowed before the king with his face to the ground. 21 Then Araunah said, “Why has my lord the king come to his servant?” And David said, “To buy the threshing floor from you, to build an altar to the Lord, that the plague may be withdrawn from the people.” 22 Now Araunah said to David, “Let my lord the king take and offer up whatever seems good to him. Look, here are oxen for burnt sacrifice, and threshing implements and the yokes of the oxen for wood. 23 All these, O king, Araunah has given to the king.”And Araunah said to the king, “May the Lord your God accept you.”24 Then the king said to Araunah, “No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price; nor will I offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God with that which costs me nothing.” So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver. 25 And David built there an altar to the Lord, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings. So the Lord heeded the prayers for the land, and the plague was withdrawn from Israel. (NKJV) – David wouldn’t let Araunah give it to him the threshing floor. He wanted to buy it. He invested in it. Respectful men in relationship to God don’t want something for nothing. Men after God’s on heart are willing to invest into the kingdom and they want to give their best to God. If a man doesn’t invest into the kingdom, he won’t invest in you. Ladies; If you are with a man that will not give their best to God, you can be sure he won’t give his best to you. A man after God’s own heart is not going to ask God for something and never give God anything back in return. If they do God like that, they will do you like that.
  4. Relevant- David was a man of prayer. David wanted to build a house for God. 1 Chronicles 17:11-12 (NKJV) says 11 And it shall be, when your days are fulfilled, when you must go to be with your fathers, that I will set up your seed after you, who will be of your sons; and I will establish his kingdom. 12 He shall build Me a house, and I will establish his throne forever.
  5. Reliable – David was man found giving steadfast love to God and he loved others. , 1 Chronicles 17:16-27 (NKJV) says 16 Then King David went in and sat before the Lord; and he said: “Who am I, O Lord God? And what is my house, that You have brought me this far? 17 And yet this was a small thing in Your sight, O God; and You have also spoken of Your servant’s house for a great while to come, and have regarded me according to the rank of a man of high degree, O Lord God. 18 What more can David say to You for the honor of Your servant? For You know Your servant. 19 O Lord, for Your servant’s sake, and according to Your own heart, You have done all this greatness, in making known all these great things. 20 O Lord, there is none like You, nor is there any God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears. 21 And who is like Your people Israel, the one nation on the earth whom God went to redeem for Himself as a people—to make for Yourself a name by great and awesome deeds, by driving out nations from before Your people whom You redeemed from Egypt? 22 For You have made Your people Israel Your very own people forever; and You, Lord, have become their God. 23 “And now, O Lord, the word which You have spoken concerning Your servant and concerning his house, let it be established forever, and do as You have said. 24 So let it be established, that Your name may be magnified forever, saying, ‘The Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, is Israel’s God.’ And let the house of Your servant David be established before You. 25 For You, O my God, have revealed to Your servant that You will build him a house. Therefore Your servant has found it in his heart to pray before You. 26 And now, Lord, You are God, and have promised this goodness to Your servant. 27 Now You have been pleased to bless the house of Your servant, that it may continue before You forever; for You have blessed it, O Lord, and it shall be blessed forever.”,
    1. 1 Samuel 16:11 (NKJV) 11 And Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all the young men here?” Then he said, “There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep.”And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him. For we will not sit down[a] till he comes here.” ,
    2. 2 Samuel 6:21-22 (NKJV) 21 So David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me instead of your father and all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel. Therefore I will play music before the Lord. 22 And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight. But as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken, by them I will be held in honor.”-His word meant something. David could be counted on. If you say you are going to do something, you got to do it. Ex – Being a father to a daughter is game changer. Bishop went out of town, but he told his daughter that he would be back to pick her up right after school. She was so excited that she told everyone at school that her Dad was going pick her up after school. When Bishop arrived, she told him, “You said you would pick me up”. Even at 3 yrs old, Bishop’s daughter expects her Dad to do what he says he is going to do. Hopefully this sets up an expectation so she expects the same out of a man when she starts dating.
  6. Reverent – The psalms is filled with David’s awe for God. Psalm 34:1 (NKJV) says 34 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth., Psalm 18:3 (NKJV) says I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. , – David did not mind being outwardly expressive in his adoration towards God. He didn’t mind the outward expression of his affection towards God either. As men, we have been trained to think its proper to be soft when worshiping God in public. The problem with this is, when our favorite ball team is playing, we are not soft or silent.
    1. Men that don’t display public adoration to God, will not display public affection with their mate. Most people grew up and never saw their father kiss their mother. It seemed like they were more like roommates. If you find a man that worships and loves God, he’ll love on you.
  7. Repentant – A godly man is not perfect. He will make mistakes. David made a mistake, but he repented as soon as he messed up, and God still used him. Psalm 51:10 (NKJV) says 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. – David repented. God will bless you if you Ladies; If the guy you are with won’t tell God he is sorry, he won’t look at you and say he is sorry. If he is not transparent with God, he won’t be transparent with anyone else.
  8. Commit your way to God. Genesis 2:15 (NKJV) says 15 Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. Psalm 37:5 (NKJV) says Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. , Isaiah 1:19 (NKJV) says 19 If you are willing and obedient, You shall eat the good of the land; – As a man of God, we have got to commit to the will of God.



To be the woman God wants you to be you must:

Operate with the spirit of grace and wisdom –Proverbs 31:1-10 (NKJV) says 31 The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him: What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Nor for princes intoxicating drink; Lest they drink and forget the law, And pervert the justice of all the afflicted. Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart.Let him drink and forget his poverty, And remember his misery no more. Open your mouth for the speechless, In the cause of all who are appointed to die.[a] 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, And plead the cause of the poor and needy. 10 Who[b] can find a virtuous[c] wife? For her worth is far above rubies. – No matter what your status is (whether dating, courting, or married), these principles apply to you.


Principles for a woman after Gods own heart:

  1. Private – A woman of God values discretion. She can’t be a woman that tells everything. Proverbs 31:11 says (NKJV) 11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. – The whole point is people ought to be able to trust you with stuff. Ex– Bishop shares that right to this day, he can go and talk to his mom about something private, and she will take it to the grave.
  2. Peaceful – Proverbs 31:12 says (NKJV) 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. –   A Godly woman is not a brawler. This is not who God called you to be. You are a queen and you shouldn’t be on social media going back and forth with people over stuff. Queens don’t come off their throne to deal with jokers.
    1. Your house has to be a place of peace. Your children and your husband ought to enjoy coming home after a long day at work or school.
  3. Prosperous –Proverbs 31:13-14 (NKJV) says 13 She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. – A woman after God’s own heart is happy to make it happen for herself and her family. She doesn’t have to wait for a man to take her. God wants you to have your own stuff. You don’t approach relationships with the phrase, “what can he do for me?” You are a queen. There’s is nothing like a prosperous man!
  4. Productive – Proverbs 31:15 (NKJV) says 15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants. – The scripture says the woman after God’s own heart gets up while everyone else is sleep and makes sure there is food in the pantry and toilet paper in the bathroom. She has thought about everything ahead of time.
    1. Because of what she does, the husband doesn’t have to get anything anywhere else, because everything he needs is at home. Ex- Bishop explains how he used to go crazy when the Popsicle truck came. They used to chase it down the road every time it came around. Bishop’s mom used to say, “I don’t know why you are chasing that truck? You are after something that you already have in your house (speaking of popsicles in the freezer).” And she would continue saying say, “And you know as soon as the truck leaves you, it will meet somebody else on another street”. This is sort of a parallel illustration of a non-virtuous woman.
5.      Prominent –Proverbs 31:16-17 (NKJV) says 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. – She is so prominent that when she shows up, everyone knows she means business. She doesn’t play. When she shows up, everyone recognizes her value and they feel that they have to come up to her value.

6.      She is perceptive – Proverbs 31:18-20 (NKJV) says 18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. – God gave women a third eye. Men; when a God fearing woman says not to trust a woman because she has a bad feeling about them, then believe them! Ex -The Scribes and Pharisees brings trumped up charges against Jesus and wants him crucified, but they need the Roman’s backing to do it, they take Jesus in the middle of the night to see Pilate. While waiting to hear the case, Pilate’s wife told him not to have anything to do with Jesus, because she had a dream about Jesus. As a result, Pilate told the Scribes and Pharisees to take Jesus to Herod. He didn’t want anything to do with Jesus because of what his wife had said.

a.      Ladies; Please kno that if you allow you mind to be cluttered with mess, then you are not able to use this third eye. Too much junk in your system will clog up your bandwith.

  1. Praiseworthy – Proverbs 31:21 (NKJV) says 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. – Everyone calls her blessed. Her reputation affirms the notion that she is blessed.

Recognize your image is a reflection of God

Genesis 1:27 (NKJV) says 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. – When you have these characteristics (the image of God), you command a certain level or standard from people that are around you.

  1. Remember that God gave you dominion on the earth. Genesis 1:28 (NKJV) says 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” – You have joint dominion on the earth with your mate. Together you two must operate in a kingdom agenda.
  2. When you become the man or woman that God wants you be, you attract what you are. If you keep attracting abusive, crazy, or silly people it is because you attract what the enemy sees in you.



About growintheword

I consider myself a Christian with an envangelistic calling. I like music, art, and computers. I belive that God gives us our gifts so that they may be used for his glory. It is my desire that everyone in the world comes to know God and have a personal relationship with him by means of music, evangelistic ministry, and by understanding the word of God.
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