RelationSHIFTS Part 1, Bible Study 02/10/16

relationShiftsRelationSHIFTS Part 1

Synopsis of Bible Study 02/10/16

Delivered by Bishop Walker III


Relationships are complicated and take work. It is important to know that they also go through seasons. These seasons are called shifts. When you connect with people, you have to connect with people that can navigate between the shifts in your life.

To give an example, some people are ok with you while you were making money, but when the season came where you were no longer making money, they were nowhere to be found. Regardless of the relationship you are in, shifts happen!

Psalm 139:14 (NKJV) 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[aMarvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. – This is a declaration about our identity. It is about knowing who I am and how God made me. God didn’t mass produce you. God made you unique. He fearfully and wonderfully made you. No one on the planet is like you!

Knowing who you are and how God made you is important.

3 things that determine our standards:

  1. Our moral convictions – The word of God governs our ethics and values. This then develops our moral standards. My moral conviction then guides my standards.
  2. Personal value – Ex – For some of us 40 and above, we grew up in a house that had a china cabinet. In it was fine china (plates for those who are not old enough to remember). You didn’t just put anything on these china plates. They were special. There was value placed on this china. Tupperware was not as valuable and it was treated as such, but china was treated with care. There were sometimes that you would even throw Tupperware away, but not china. In like manner, how you let yourself be treated has something to say about the value you place on yourself.
  3. Individual goals determine my standards – Everyone has a particular goal. It should be about where God is taking us and not where we are now. Standards should not be about where you are now. In your standards when considering being in relationship with someone, you ought to ask can this person handle where God is taking you? Make sure your standards say, “If you knew where I was going, you would know why I came.
    1. By setting standards, you are setting up your minimum requirements. If someone doesn’t meet your standards or your minimum requirements, it becomes a deal breaker. Recognize that deal breakers are important! Everything has a minimum requirement. Even your gas tank has a minimum requirement.
    2. Draw a vertical line on a piece of paper. On that line put 0 at the bottom, 10 at the top, and 5 in the middle. How would you grade yourself on this scale if you were to take your standards into account?
    3. There are a lot of things that determine where we are with our standards. Some people compromise their standards out of Some people compromise their standards, because of financials reasons. Regardless of the reason, we should try not to compromise our standards.

Establish God at the center of all relationships:

Matthew 22:37 says (NKJV) 37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’[a] , Deuteronomy 6:5 (NKJV) You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength., – We ought to love God with the very essence of who we are. If we don’t love God like this, then it will be hard for people to love us.

  1. Do you love God? There was a moment in life you were truly in love with someone. No matter what time it was or what the weather was like, you would drop everything and go to them when they called. Now you say you love God, but when they say it is going to rain or if we have service at another location, do you show the same dedication? If you love somebody better than you do Him, God will turn you over to yourself, because that person has then become your idol God.
  2. Loving God teaches you how to love yourself.
  3. Loving somebody the wrong way, can cause you to lose yourself. If you have to lose the essence of yourself to be with someone, then this is not healthy. Proverbs 19:8 says (NKJV) He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; He who keeps understanding will find good. , Ephesians 5:29 says (NKJV) 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. -You must say, “I love me some me”. This is not about arrogance, we just love ourselves. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect somebody else to love you?
  4. Loving God teaches you how love works. 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NKJV) says Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

Let the Lord guide you:

  1. Seek God’s wisdom Matthew 6:33 (NKJV) 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. – We must first seek God’s wisdom, before making a decision to be with somebody. If God is silent, then we should keep still until he gives us an answer. Ex Bishop says when they were dating they used to bring the girls they were dating by to see his grandma Madea. Madea used to give only two responses. It was either, “Hey, how you doing!” or she would only grunt and remain silent. If she grunted, then you knew your date wasn’t the one. Silence speaks volumes. When God is silent, you don’t move.
    1. Deuteronomy 31:8 (NKJV) saysAnd the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”- Example: When somebody tries to get with you, you need to ask the Lord, “Is he the right one?” God will then go before you, but he will be back. While God is away, the guy you lick is running game on you. Finally, he or she is successful and as a result, you hook up with them before God gives you an answer. Now you have gotten ahead of God. When God returns with your answer, he has a bag full of stuff about this person you asked God about, but you didn’t wait. Now you have all that baggage to deal with after you have already invested time into him or her. The question is, how invested do you want to be in a person, before you find out how much baggage they have? You got to say to yourself that you would rather the baggage be dumped onto your porch instead of inside your house.  We try to blame the baggage that we found out on the devil, but the truth is, it was simply a matter of us getting ahead of God. Don’t get me wrong, you can cope with the baggage, but it is nice to have a choice before hand.
  2. But God has great plans for my life.
    1. Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV) says 11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. – God’s plan extends our finite understanding. God is trying to set the stage for you to have a partnership.
    2. Genesis 1:26-28 (NKJV) 26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all[a] the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”- God brought Adam and Eve together and God made certain that they were situated to have dominion in the earth. They were meant to have dominion together.
  3. Be fruitful and multiply. Notice that God said be fruitful and then multiply. We are not to multiply into that which can’t be fruitful. In other words, your mate should prove that you can be fruitful first and then you are clear to multiply. Ask yourself before getting into a relationship, what fruit are they producing? The goal in bringing you two together was the product that would come from the relationship. Fruit produces more fruit!
    1. Genesis 2:18 (NKJV) says 18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” – God wanted Adam and Eve to be able to help each other.
      1. Some ask if marriage a merger. Well it is the collision of two histories, but know that it can be like a merger.
    2. Being fruitful is not about being equitable in income or education. It simply means that we have like values. A wife and husband can’t change roles so to speak. If you connect with someone that you have to make get up and go get job or to go to church, then this isn’t right. You got to ask yourself, if you lost your job, could they hold it down?
    3. What if you were an investor and the company that wants to merge would say they don’t have any money, but they have a plan. Would you sign off on that? Would you sign your life over to somebody that can’t buy you a happy meal? It’s not about money. It is about This is not the gravy train!


Live a life of grace:

Hebrews 4:16 (NKJV) 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.- Relationship comes from the Greek word schési (σχέση) which means, enlightening, charming, or pleasurable – All these things are things we ought to experience in a relationship. For example, what if there was a grocery store where on one aisle you could get life, joy, and happiness and on another aisle you could buy stress, bitterness, and misery. Which aisle would you fill up your cart from?

  1. God has given you grace so you might be whole. 3 John 2 (NKJV) Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. – God wants you to be whole. When you are whole, you don’t need anyone else to make you whole. You got to be so complete that when people connect with you they are clear on the notion that if they act a fool, you can still be alright. If you are codependent on someone to make you whole.
  2. God gives you grace to keep you in seasons of aloneness. There are people reading this that are thinking they wished they had received this bible stud years ago. This kind of teaching prevents you from getting scares.

8 recommendations on standards you ought to have.

  1. I must feel attracted to the person – You must feel attracted to the person spiritually, intellectually, and physically. – Out of these three categories, what you are saying is spiritually (you can see they love God), intellectually (they challenge you), and physically (you are attracted to them). Some people might consider this as being shallow, but whichever of these you choose to compromise on, the enemy will bring you somebody in that area. For example, say that the person you chose is both good looking and intellectual, but they don’t go to church. You compromise on the spiritual by picking someone who does not go to church and then it doesn’t work out. From now on, Satan will send you good looking, intellectual, people that don’t go to church. Know that you have a right to choose all 3 of these.
    1. Being attracted to them is not shallow. You have the right to be attracted to what you like, because you have to spend the rest of your life with them.
  2. The person you choose must be trustworthy and faithful.
  3. The person you choose must practice self-care. They must brush their teeth, gargle, and dress properly. Men are visual folk women.
  4. They must have ambition and goals.
  5. The person you choose must bring positive energy into your life.
  6. The person you choose must feel safe with you (Men: You must make the woman feel safe).
  7. The person must be employed legally and they must be financially stable, in school, or building a legitimate business. They must be stable. Do they receive a W2?
  8. The person you choose must know how to effectively communicate. Can they articulate their thoughts without using a lot of slain?


Don’t settle for less

2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) says 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?-

  1. Don’t accept the leftovers of a relationship
  1. Refuse to be guilted into staying with a person, just because you have history with them.
  2. 3 litmus test questions for your relationship are:
  1. Has my love for God changed since I have been in relationship with them?
  2. Do I still obey the voice of God? Has the voice of the person I am with gotten greater than God’s voice.
  3. Is my commitment to God and the things of God increasing or decreasing?


Relations Shift!



About growintheword

I consider myself a Christian with an envangelistic calling. I like music, art, and computers. I belive that God gives us our gifts so that they may be used for his glory. It is my desire that everyone in the world comes to know God and have a personal relationship with him by means of music, evangelistic ministry, and by understanding the word of God.
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