Relationship Clinic IV
“How Do You Know You Are Over the Pain of Your Past”
Synopsis of Bible Study 03/11/15
Delivered by Bishop Walker
Many of us struggle with this issue called pain. Phil 3:13 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,– When you think about pain and the process of getting beyond it, there is a term called offense that comes to mind. When we experience offense, we have to realize that what we are dealing with is flesh, not spirits.
Eph 6:12 says 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. – This then tells us that when dealing with offense, it is spiritual warfare.
The devil uses our flesh as a manifestation of the offense. When we are offended, we have to decide if we are going to take the bait. When we are offended, there are two possible reactions. They are:
- Spiritual Reaction.
- Physical (Natural) Reaction.
Of course we advise you to have a spiritual reaction, but for now, let’s talk about the natural reaction. Our natural tendency is to act in the flesh.
How do we keep from acting in the flesh? How do we transition from responding in the flesh? Know that you will never be able to deal with offense in your flesh. It’s got to be in the spiritual.
Where does the offense come from? Sometimes the offense comes, because it reminds you of something that happened to you before that wasn’t dealt with.
- There are layers of pain and as a result of your levels of pain, you have scars. Scientifically, you remember the bad things better than the good things that happened to you. As a result, you replay the footage of the bad things over and over in your mind. Isa 43:18-19 says 18 “Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.
How do you know you are over the pain of your Past? The answer is, you are able to put the old things behind you and make room for the good things. God is doing good things in your life right now!
- Joseph was elevated, but he could have retaliated instead. Gen 50:20 says 20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. – Egypt was saved, because of what offended Joseph.
- Does God allow you to be offended and just expect you to stand back and do nothing? God could have prevented it, so why did God let the offense come. Job would testify that he wasn’t doing anything, but God allowed the devil to have permission to attack him.
- There are moments that God allows the offense to happen, but he is in control of the end result. The fact that you are reading this right now is evidence that God controls the end result. Ex – Joseph knew that everything happens for a reason. Had he not been put into prison, he wouldn’t have met the butler who told pharaoh that he could interpret dreams; he wouldn’t have been in prison if Potiphar’s wife had not lied on him; he wouldn’t have been sold had it not been for the evilness of his brothers; and he wouldn’t have been hated by his brother’s enough for them to sell him, had he not been given the coat by his father.
- Soren Kierkegaard has been quoted as saying “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – The only way to understand a person is to know where they been. This is the only way you will understand why a person is the way they are. You must accept that both our pain and our history make up who we are. We can’t however allow ourselves to stay in the pain and allow it to rob our future.
Let go of your past. You deserve to be free
- John 8:36 says 36 Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. – The chains have been broken. You can’t be free if you still living in the past.
- Gal 5:1 says 1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.- Once you been set free, don’t go back! This is being entrapped in the snares that have been designed to make you powerless and to put you into the pain that makes you powerless. At this point your pain is dictating your destiny.
- Pain is real and once you are free, don’t go back! Luke 9:62 says 62 But Jesus said to him, ” No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”- Looking back is not option.
- Lesson from past pain.
- Learn to live life for you – You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Something happened to you, but you have to come to a place where you want to be heal. Healing begins with you. Self-discovery is impossible, because you won’t allow the healing process to begin. Ex- Bishop shares that during the last snow storm, he went out to clear the sidewalk. The problem is he did so in shower shoes instead of boots. As soon as he stepped out onto the ice, he went airborne. Trying to catch himself, he injured both his wrist and one of his fingers. As a result, he was not able to bend the finger. His wife, who is a doctor, advised him to go and get it checked out. Bishop refused and the finger remained sore for days. After days of him being in pain over the finger, his wife scolded him and reminded him that his finger would never be healed, if he didn’t get it checked out. In other words, his finger would be jacked up. In like manner, if you don’t allow God to heal you, then you will remain jacked up. Don’t let pain rob you of life.
- Learn how to trust God. Psa 56:11 says 11 In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? – We allow ourselves to put human attributes on God. Don’t let your horizontal horror; rob you of your vertical blessing.
Psa 146:3 says 3 Do not put your trust in princes, Nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help. – Don’t allow what people did to you, cause you to distrust people. Put your trust in God. Ex – Some people start folk off at 100% credibility and then allow them to lower it by their actions. Other people start people at 0% and then allow them to prove themselves towards the 100%, this way if they don’t make it, they are not disappointed by what they do.
- Learn to have the right intentions – Psa 51:10 says 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Rom 12:9 says 9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.- Have you ever volunteered to help the Lord get them, as if He was moving too slow for you? Learn how to walk away in peace, instead of pieces. Learn to declare over your life that you are not going to walk away as fragmented pieces. If you don’t, this will eventually get into your head.
Isa 26:3 says 3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.- We are not going to let somebody have the joy of saying, “look at what I did to them”.
- Clean up your life – Spring clean your life. Spring clean your emotions and your spirit. Pain will set up residue and cause illness, disease, pain, and other ailments. Take note of what is inside of you. Ex – When you meet Thomas, don’t compare him to a previous Thomas that did your wrong.
Psa 139:23-24 says 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; 24 And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.- In other words, ask the Lord to show you what is wearing you out.
Ecc 3:1 says 1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:- It’s ok to get help. Sometimes you got to talk to somebody.
Pro 1:5 says 5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,
Prov 19:20 says 20 Listen to counsel and receive instruction, That you may be wise in your latter days.-Counseling can help you get to the core issue. You might be mad at somebody, because of something that happened to you in the past. There is often history tied to your pain. Out with the old and in with the new! Remove the old stuff and replace it with something new. If you don’t fill that void with the word of God it becomes a deterrent from healing from any past pain and experiences.
2 cor 2:14 says 14 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.
- Terms to know:
- Was, that is, and what will be – God’s desire for your life is that you prosper in your soul and emotions. 3 john: 1:2 says – 2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.
- Emotions – Feelings on the inside that cause pleasure of pain that cause you to move in a certain direction.- God wants you to master you emotions, not let your emotions to control you.
- Self-control – This is godly feelings that cause you to take control of your soul and spirit – Heb 4:15 says 15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.- The Holy Spirit knows what we deal with.
Mark 14:32 says 32 Then they came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, ” Sit here while I pray.”- Prayer causes you to take control of your emotions.
The devil wants you to think you won’t have control of 3 things:
- Our personality, our circumstance, and our weaknesses – The devil is a lie, because 2 Cor 5:17 says 17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Things to Remember:
- Take up the shield of faith which is the word of God – The word keeps offense from hitting my emotion.
- God says forgive others is an act of faith – When you forgive, you can’t wait for somebody to say they are sorry. True forgiveness s is not for them, but for you.
- Stop reliving the situation – Don’t make your pain fit every story that is told.
- Stop making excuses for why you are so easily hurt – Having that tender sport or sensitive subject is nothing more than excuses.
- Stop wearing your emotions on your sleeve- How do you know if you are guilty of this? Because people keep asking you what is wrong with you.
- Stop trying to get even with people who have hurt you – The greater the offense, the greater your retaliation spirit gets.
- Don’t harden your heart. Let it go. – Offense is like this; “I’ll let it go, but the pain won’t let me go. Everywhere I go, the pain goes. ” The longer you hold on, the further you get from your destination.
Let it go!