How do you know Part I
How do you know if you are not over the past?
Synopsis Bible study 2/2/11
It is important to know, a lot of us have become captive to our past. In fact, what causes most relationships to fail is not dealing with the past. The question is how do you know you are not over your past? The answer is your inability to identify emotional wounds. In other words, you walking around hurt and don’t even realize it.
This is what it looks like.
a. Inner rawness – This is a sense of hurt that does not go away.
b. Irritability – This is where you become irritated with others even when they are not doing anything wrong.
c. Little or no tolerance – This is having low patience with others.
d. Feelings always rising up – This is hate, anger, and resentment that keep on rising up. Ex- A person might not call you at the appropriate time and you just go off.
e. Overly sensitive about an event in your past-Still lashing out over things that resemble the area you were hurt in. Ex-Leroy hurt you, so now you don’t like anybody named Leroy.
f. Hard to forgive – This makes it difficult for you to love.
g. Hard to feel loved – You are surrounded by people who love you, but you push them away.
h. Lashing out -Inner wounds are festered and it makes it easy to lash out. That particular area is still sensitive.
i. Feeling of anger toward God – Now your vertical relationship is affected.
j. Self-hate -If you keep getting hurt; you think something must be wrong with you.
k. Easily frustrated -Angry even with your simple everyday chores.
l. Escapism – Start getting into other things to escape your reality. This is how addictions come into our lives.
m. Cutting– Person that ends up causing harm to themselves.
n. Retaliation urges – Hate builds up anger and resentment that makes you want to get even.
o. Irresponsible behavior -Since you have been hurt, you do what you want to do. This is a Moral compass effect.
p. Irrational expectations of others -Now your expectations are so high as result of your hurt, you can’t possible find anyone.
q. Perfectionism -You want others to be perfect as a result of your hurt. This can make you end up by yourself.
r. Feelings of hopelessness – You feel like, “what’s the use.”
s. Drive-ness-You can be driven to something you think causes happiness, but it might not be purpose driven.
t. Obsessive compulsive disorder. – You are out of control. You have excessive behavior. Put them in their career and they will knock it out of the park, but socially that can’t function.
u. Hostility towards God, yourself, and others – Angry man syndrome. We have all gone through seasons where we were angry with others.
I. Be honest with yourself?
1. Who is it that you hate or blame? Why can’t you move forward?
2. What did they do to you? What did they do to you that it takes this long to get over?
3. What things have you done, that you deeply regret? You have to consider that you had some role in it. All of this is about baggage.
4. Is there anything in your past that you feel excessively embarrassed or ashamed of? Write it down and examine it.
II. Keys to dealing with healing
Sorrow deals with pain or inflictions. Isaiah 53:4-5 says 4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. – Christ came to take away the pain and afflictions that happen in our life.
1. If you are not honest about where you are hurting, then the blood can’t be applied to your situation. Why is this? 1 Peter 5:7 says 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. – Once identifying it, then I can release it to him that can do something with it. You think you can manage it, but you can’t. There is a reason we can’t go on. We are filtering everything through the lens of that pain we are carrying. How unfair is that to have to know a person through their pain?
2. Learn to be thankful for what God has done for your life. No matter what has happened in our past, this day is a present. God took our mess, gave us a blank slate, and allowed us to start over. Learn at that moment to pause and not worry about what has happened to you and thank him for what he has done.
3. The reason people can’t go on is they are tormented by their past issues and therefore are not at peace. Colossians 3:15 says 15And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.- If you are not at peace, God is not the author of confusion. Everywhere you go you will cause chaos.
4. As a result of you not knowing God and giving him glory, you allow vain imaginations to interrupt your life. Romans 1:21 says 21Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.- This is like living looking in the rear view mirror. Ever tried to drive forward while looking back?
5. Are your pro-focused or solution focused? You can’t experience moving forward for worrying about what happened in the past. Get to a position where you stop listening to the devil. The devil will keep speaking negative things in your ear. Ex- Satan says things like, “Who are you?” Or “”what makes you think that applies to you?” Remember the Devil tries to isolate you so he can interrogate you.
6. You have to get to a point where you stop blaming the person that done you wrong. Your reaction is what is keeping you in bondage, not what was done to you. Once you have dealt with this, you know that you can’t continue to react to this. The person that hurt us has moved on with their lives and we are still prisoners, because we won’t let go. Ex- Marriages are stifled because of some of these comparative issues.
7. Lots of people bottle up their pain. These are the scariest type of people. There are implosive, not explosive. Players be careful. One day you may get this person and end up on Breaking News. This is why it is important to have accountability people. In some areas, it is good to be private. This is ok. You can’t go to everybody about everything. Those that are implosive need to know that it will affect your life eventually. James 5:16 says 16Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.-You got to have someone in your life that you can release this stuff to. This is why you have Intercessors, Pastors, and Counselors. Think about it like having a balloon filled with air. You want to release it a little at a time. You don’t want all the air to come at once causing the balloon to go everywhere and fly away. Ex- Bishop says he has this radio personality who is not only a friend; he is a comedian as well. Bishop says when he needs a release he will call and say he just needs about 15mins to laugh. The laughter allows him to have a release. We all need a “wheew moment” If you don’t’ have people in your life that you can release to, ask to lord to send someone in your life.
III. Steps to get past some stuff or healing
1. You got to be willing to say “I got to get past some stuff.” Psalm 147:3 says 3He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.- Relationships can break your heart. Ever had your heart broke?
2. How do you release those that hurt you into the hands of Jesus? 1 Peter 5:7 says 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. – If you keep hanging on to the pain, it keeps you from being healed. Luke 4:18 says 18The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, – If you know about a bruise, it can hurt worse than a wound does sometimes. Matthew 11:28-30 says 28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. – A yoke is that which controls. You have the yoke of the past directing your life. Even though you are on assignment, you are being controlled by your past. God’s yoke is not like this. All this pain is making people make assumptions about you that are not true. There are people that have come and met you, because they didn’t have time to get to know you. Turn this pain over to God and know that you need to move forward.
3. Realize the love of God for you. This will help you open up and receive healing. Romans 8:32 says 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?- God says he has so many wonderful things that he wants to do for us. Romans 5:8 says 8But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.- While we was still in the world doing stuff, God still loved us. John 17:23 says 23I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. – Let them know what love the Lord has to them Jesus says.
4. When we understand how much he loves us, it becomes a model in which we use to measure love. Ephesians 3:17-19 says 17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. – A lot of the pain of our past, we can acknowledge that we had some responsibility in it. If you think of how God loves you, use this to measure how much somebody should love you and how you should love others. Ex- Little girls grow up looking for someone to love her the way her Dad loves her.
5. Realize Gods will for you mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 says 7For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
6. Example of fears
Psalm 23:3 says3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Lets look at verses 1 and 2 first. The Psalm 23:1-2 says 1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. – We shared how important it is to know how much God loves you and who he is in our lives. We are sheep and the shepherd protects sheep from danger. Sheep are vulnerable. Though precious, and valuable, they are vulnerable. Like sheep, without the protection of the shepherd, we are subject to attack from the wolf, coyotes, and the mountain lions. There was an Author sometime ago that talked about the threats of the sheep. Some of them are:
a. The mountain lion was master of intimidating sheep. Their roar seemed like 1000 mountain lions and it intimidated the sheep so bad, they couldn’t move. Ex- This is like the guy who says, “I know you ain’t trying to leave me.” Or “You know I love you to death.”
b. The Wolf -Master of deception. Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. They will come to church with you, but eventually the nature of the wolf will come out.
c. The Coyote -Master of setting traps. Remember the RoadRunner show that had the coyote that would set the ACME traps. What relationships have you been in that ended up being just a big trap. They just wanted something. The Lord says he understands you will be under these attacks and therefore he shepherds us. David says I shall not want. Someone that is shepherded by God is not needy. Without a proper alignment and relationship with God, you go through life vulnerable. When you know who you are in him, you shall not want. God says now there is a season called time out. You won’t volunteer, because when you have been wounded, you run from relationship to relationship. This run to run relationship manifests in different ways such as:
a. “We are just kicking it.”
b. “This is my partner.”
c. “This is my boo” and there are more…
Because we keep doing this, the Lord says we are not ready yet, so God says he has to make us lie down in green pastures (verse 2). He has to fix it so he can put a monkey wrench in your relationship programs. When the Lord makes you sit down, there is a social stigma tied to it. People wonder why at your age you still aren’t dating. This stigma causes people to move to please a nation that is not spiritual. If we sit down like God wants, he restores us! He will restore the years the locust have eaten up. You don’t know how, because there should have been wounds, but he restores us. He won’t leave you there. He will lead you through the paths of righteousness (verse 3). The next person that you meet and the next relationship you are will be right, because it will be in God’s will. If he leads us, it won’t be wrong. He will navigate circumstances to work on your behalf and he will allow you and somebody else to cross paths. It will be a providential hookup and it will be perfect. You will be two restored people set up to compliment each other.