Relationship Ready Part II
“Intimacy” The man that meets the standard
Synopsis of Bible Study 02/11/09
Delivered by Bishop Walker III
THE MAN THAT MEETS THE STANDARD
18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Gen 2:18 (KJV) God said it is not good for man to be alone. What kind of man was God talking about? It is the man that God has prepared. God prepared Adam before he presented Eve to him. God is saying for this kind of man, it not good for him to be alone. Men that have not be prepared by God or that are not walking with God are not the kind of men that God is saying shouldn’t be alone. God’s original intent was to have man at such a level that when he finds a woman, she worries that she is not at the level she should be in order to be with him.
God gives us guidelines as it relates to our conduct. Men don’t give into commitment as quickly as women so. God had Adam working the garden before Eve come on the scene. This was part of Adams preparation process. The first words Eve heard was “you’re it! (Referring to Adam calling her woman).The first words Adam heard was “get to work”.
What does a man look like that meets God’s standard?
I. Role of husband
Nobody taught men how to be husbands. We kind of just get put in this position and are expected to be good at it. If you didn’t have a great role-model in your home, it kind of becomes on the job training.
What is the role of this type of husband?
1. He is to leave his father and mother. 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matt 19:5-6 (KJV) -He must leave that relationship of favor to go to another relationship (his relationship). He comes from under the influence of his parents to become head another relationship. He can’t be a dependant on his parents and be dependable in another family all at the same time. He must leave his parents and provide for his family. Men, every day you wake up in your momma’s house as a grown man, you shouldn’t feel right. You can’t be a momma’s boy. You have to cleave to your wife which means to join.
2. He is to cleave or be joined to his wife. He can’t make his wife compete with his mother. That’s why they have Mother’s day and Valentine’s Day. One is for the mother and one is for the wife. Cleave means to be cemented, glued, or adhered to. 23 Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord. Acts 11:23 (KJV)
3. When we are cemented to God, we have to let go of some stuff. The same thing must happen in your relationship. When you enter into a relationship, you are saying that you are prepared to let go of other relationships. A man of God sticks with his wife of in all things.
4. He is to be head of his wife. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Eph 5:23 (KJV). The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. According to the bible, there is no such thing as women’s lib. A man that is in proper relationship with God should be the head of the relationship. Some women are struggling with that issue right now even as they read this. Any man that is following Christ and whose life is in order should be submitted to by the woman. This is the order of God. This man should be able to love you into submission. In other words, his being into a proper relationship with God should make the wife want to be submissive to him.
5. The type of man considers his wife’s needs before his. He takes his headship with a dose of humility. He welcomes his wife’s opinion. In other words, they huddle up together when a problem is on the table. Even though the man is the quarterback, they realize that they are on the same team. The wife doesn’t bump heads with the man. There can’t be two heads. Remember anything with two heads is a monster, but understand you are nothing without your neck.
6. He is to honor his wife. 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (KJV) -there are many woman who are taken for granted. We have to stop taking women for granted. You have to literally honor your spouse. When you walk in, she ought to illuminate. Honor her not in just what you say, but in what you do. She is the weaker vessel. This means she should be honored as a piece of china instead of everyday stoneware. You got to know whether you have fine china or not. You should know the difference between fine china and Tupperware.
a. Remember that she is an heir to the grace of life. Whatever God is going to do through you will affect her too. She is an heir to your blessings. How can your wife not be included in your blessing, when you are supposed to be one flesh? God says if you don’t treat your wife right, he won’t listen to your prayers. Just think, of all the men your wife could have chosen and she chose to be with you.
7. He is to dwell with his wife with understanding. We should understand our woman, even though they don’t’ quite understand themselves sometimes. You will never totally understand a woman, but if you have comprehensive understanding of your relationship you can be understanding of your spouse. Ginosko is a Greek word that means to take knowledge of. We must understand that even if we disagree, we have an understanding of this thing.
8. He is to provide for her physical needs. 8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Tim 5:7-8 (KJV)
9. A man is wired to take of his woman or his wife. God gave this to Adam in the garden. Afterwards he gave Adam a wife. We are naturally wired to provide. Even if you think they are not providing, because they owe you child support, they are providing. It might be their house and not yours, but they do provide. We are trained to survive. That is who we are as men. We are wired to take care of things. A godly man takes care of things in his household. Ex- Remember in college or school, it would always be some guy saying, “Can I buy you lunch or can I get that for you?”A godly man is thinking that one day you want have to work unless you just want to work. This is what a godly man desires.
10. Provides for her sexual needs- 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 1 Cor 7:1-4 (KJV)-(NIW) We have to be willing to give our benevolence. Men, it is your duty to have to meet your wife’s sexual needs. You think that the simple act of intercourse is meeting her needs totally, but this is not. You have to meet her needs in the following other ways to:
a. Emotional needs-Men can be involved with a sexual act and cut off our emotions after the conclusions. We are not wired with emotions. To minster to your wife it is important to communicate with her too. Men just want to go straight to the Promised Land and not journey through the wilderness. You got to go through the wilderness. Women want to talk before sex. Men want to talk during the sex! This is how men are wired. For men it’s about ego (tell me I am the greatest). A Woman wants you to hold them after sex. Ex-If you get Tupperware you can get a napkin and a plastic fork and eat just about anywhere, but when you have fine china you got to set the table.
b. Intellectual needs. Men must meet the woman’s intellectual needs as well. We must be able to talk about the economy, or the stimulus package, etc… The biggest window of the enemy is the lack of intellectual conversation. In the garden, Adam wasn’t talking to Eve and as a result a snake came around and starting talking. Bad things can’t happen when the husband does not communicate with the wife.
c. Spiritual needs-we (the woman and the man) are joint heirs in the grace of life. The woman needs a man than can bring the family to church and lead the household in prayer. Men, you have got to be the pastor of your house. (i.e. Many men have problems because their wife is always coming home and saying, Bishop Walker said this or that… The truth is, Bishop Walker or any Pastor’s name should not be mentioned more in the household than the man of the house. If the man is the Pastor of the house, it won’t be).
11. He is to truly love his wife 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Eph 5:25-33 (KJV)
12. Must play the role of the father. Every man needs to know how to be a father. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, 1 Tim 5:8-9 (KJV)-he has to provide, teach the kids, and etc…
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Eph 6:3-4 (KJV);
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, 1 Tim 5:8-9 (KJV);
a. A father shouldn’t be shame of punishing the kids. 5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Heb 12:4-6 (KJV) God loves you so much he wipes your tears and chastens you. Therefore, a good man will chasten his children, because he loves them.24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes Prov 13:24 (KJV); 24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes Prov 13:24 (KJV); 18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Prov 19:18 (KJV). There is something about a man’s voice in the house that will alter the way a child acts.
b. The man is supposed to be the spiritual leader in the home.
10 things that indicate a good man
1. Needs to know how to be friends. You can take a look a guy’s friends and find out about his character.
2. Must have faith. A good man is one that is full of the word.
3. Must be faithful. A man that is full of God will be faithful.
4. Must believe in fidelity. If a man has faith he will believe in fidelity. Most women think all men cheat and spend a majority of their time trying to keep their mate from cheating.
5. Must be focused. A good man is aimed at something. He has a job that has an address, he is going to school, is gainfully employed, and etc…
6. Must like to have fun. Even though a man is driven, he likes to have fun. This is important in a relationship. Can’t be serious all the time.
7. Must know how to handle his finances. A woman ought to observe how her man handles the money he makes. How can a woman feel secure, when she is worrying if the bills will be paid or not.
8. Must value fitness. A good man tries to eat right and he is assisted because his wife cooks and he doesn’t have to go out and eat. He tries to exercise or go to the gym.
9. He believes in family. He values being in a family. A woman ought to watch how her mate treats his mom. This will give a hint on how he might treat you.
10. He has a future. He has things lined up. You can look at his life and tell he has a future.